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Good Things

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Good Things
Syllabus

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test,
not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal.
You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child or a parent.
- Barbara Bush -

There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem,
the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.
- Nathaniel Branden -

Alphabet for Life – Author Unknown

Always be able, be adventurous and apt
Be your best, be big and boldly rapt
Calmly listen, be courageous and caring
Dream big dreams, and learn to be daring
Eagerly await each elusive gift
Forgive all others the tiny rift
Give of yourself, be grateful and grand
Hurry to lend a hardy and helping hand
Inquire of others and invent when you must
Join in the joy, be jolly and just
Keep trying, be keen and always be kind
Love with your heart, it’ll be easy to find
Make the most of each moment, try to be merry
Never say never when life gets a bit scary
Open your mind to all that’s around you
Practice makes perfect, let passion surround you
Quickly grasp the knowledge you need
Respect your elders, their wisdom heed
Support your friends, be safe, be sage
Trust in love no matter your age
Use your talents, be unique, understand
Visit your Grandparents, remember they’re grand
Wish on a star, be wise, be wary
Xpect the unexpected, don’t try to tarry
Yell if you must, be young at heart
Zany and zippy with zest from the start

Think Positive
Bits and Pieces - The Economics Press

If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go. Then never, never, never give up.

The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.

Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe and trust yourself.

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.

Joy increases as you give it, and diminshes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - marianne williamson

That as we travel from the old to the new, perhaps we should worry less about choosing what is right
and focus on choosing what we cherish.
- Susan Saltrick -

Success is the Journey, Not the Destination.
- author unknown -

Remember

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this message to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, say "I Love You" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

100 Yard Dash

A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.  At the gun, they all started out, not exactly in a dash, but with a relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one little boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple of times, and began to cry.  The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed down and looked back.  Then they all turned around and went back. Every one of them.  One girl with Down's Syndrome bent down and kissed him and said: "This will make it better."  Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line.  Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for several minutes.  People who were there are still telling the story.  Why? Because deep down we know this one thing:  What matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves.  What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means slowing down and changing our course. 

Pass it on...we need to change our hearts

On a Positive Note

On a positive note I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.  People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about. I just did. Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

Note: people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel......

Something To Start Your Day - Variations on a Theme

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night."  Age 6

I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.  Age 7

I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.  Age 9

I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom tells me to clean it.  Age 12

I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.  Age 14

I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.  Age 15

I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.  Age 24

I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.  Age 26

I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.  Age 29

I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.  Age 30

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.  Age 42

I've learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.  Age 44

I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.  Age 46

I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.  Age 47

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.  Age 48

I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.  Age 49

I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.  Age 50

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.  Age 52

I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.  Age 53

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.  Age 55

I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.  Age 58

I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.  Age 61

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.  Age 62

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.  You need to be able to throw something back.  Age 64

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.  But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.  Age 65

I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.  Age 66

I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.  Age 72

I've learned that it pays to believe in miracles And to tell the truth, I've seen several.  Age 75

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.  Age 82

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.  People love that human touch, holding hands, a warm hug, or just a  friendly pat on the back.  Age 85

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.  Age 92

I've learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about.  Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

Ageless

23 Things I Wish I Had Learned Earlier

1.  Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying  "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

2.  Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are onstage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are there to applaud.  Know who and where you are.

3.  Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

4.  When baking, follow directions.  When cooking, go by your own taste.

5.  Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

6.  Good sex should involve laughter.  Because it's, you know, funny.

7.  You need only two tools.  WD-40 and duct tape.  If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.  If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

8.  If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.

9.  The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize," and "You are right".

10.  Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

11.  When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.  It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

12.  The only really good advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was "Go! You might meet somebody!"

13.  If he says that you are too good for him--believe him.

14.  I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one-year from now? How about one month?  One week? One day?

15.  At hard times I ask myself, "How do I feel?  What do I want?" I use it whenever I'm at loss for words or thoughts.

16.  Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

17.  If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance!

18.  If you move far from your family when you're young, consider choosing a career with an airline.  Your need to see your family will last a lifetime, as will your travel benefits.

19.  Living well really is the best revenge.  Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

20.  Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bed urinal and hold your hand.

21.  Work is good but it's not that important.

22.  Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

23.  And finally...Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond the---imperfections.

Dreams

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.  She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old.  Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.  "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."  "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.  "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.  After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends.

 Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.  Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

 At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.  Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said  "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me!  I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." As we laughed she cleared her throat and began:  “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.  You have to laugh and find humor every day.  You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!   There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.  If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.  Anybody can grow older.  That doesn't take any talent or ability.  The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.  Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."  She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."  She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

 At the end of the year, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.  One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.  Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

 Remember, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

Nepalese Good Luck Mantra

Share this mantra and you will get a very pleasant surprise.  This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

 INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

 2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

 3. Follow the three Rs:

• Respect for self
• Respect for others, and
• Responsibility for all your actions.

 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

 5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

 6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

 7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

 8. Spend some time alone every day.

 9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

 11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a  second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.  Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Life's Lessons

 1 - Most Important Lesson

 During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz.  I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one:  “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"  Surely this was some kind of joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times.  She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.  "Absolutely," said the professor.  "In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'."  I've never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy.

 2 - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm.  Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.  Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.  A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s.  The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.  She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him.  Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door.  To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.  A special note was attached.  It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night.  The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came along.  Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away.  God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."  Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole

 3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve

 In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.  A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.  "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.   "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.  The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.  "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.  By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.  "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.  The little boy again counted his coins.  “I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.  The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.  The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.  When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - you see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

 4 - Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.  Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.  Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.  Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.  Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road.   After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded.  After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.  The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.  The peasant learned what many of us never understand.  Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

 5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease.  Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness.  The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.  I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks.  Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.  He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"  Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.  You see, after all, understanding and attitude, are everything.

 6 – Remember:

 Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like you do when nobody's watching.

Reminder of Life

One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.  As he stood in front of the group of high-powered over achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him.  Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.  When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"  Everyone in the class said, "Yes."  Then he said, "Really?"  He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel.  Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks.  Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"  By this time the class was on to him.  "Probably not," one of them answered.  "Good!" he replied.  He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand.  He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.  Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"  No!" the class shouted.  Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim.  Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?" One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"  "No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point.  The truth this illustration teaches us is:  If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."   What are the 'big rocks' in your life?  Your children; Your loved ones; Your education; Your dreams; A worthy cause;  Teaching or mentoring others; Doing things that you love; Time for yourself; Your health; Your significant other.  Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all.  If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you'll fill your life with little things you worry about that don't really matter, and you'll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks).  So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question:  "What are the 'big rocks' in my life?"  Then, put those in your jar first.

Happiness

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." - Alfred D. Souza -

There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or the fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again...to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Friendship

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to nail nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his Father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It doesn't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

"A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, a word of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. Remeber this when dealing with friends and realize you may need to ask for forgivness if you have ever left a hole in a friend's fence. "

For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

 1.   Save the whales. Collect the whole set

2.   A day without sunshine is like, night

3.   On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4.   I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5.   42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6.   99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7.   I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8.   You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9.   I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.

21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 

43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

48. Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

55.  And never send a ferret to do a weasel's job!  

Dust

Dust if you must but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter,
Bake a cake or plant a seed.
Ponder the difference between want and need.

Dust if you must but there's not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb!
Music to hear and books to read,
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go and go you must,
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Remember, a house becomes a home when you can write
"I love you" on the furniture....

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